Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
