new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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