Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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