i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
