Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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