I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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