my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
