When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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