Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
