Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
