We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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