Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize