some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
