no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
