hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
how drunk are you?
Several
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
