HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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