omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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