Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
