If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
