I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
