I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
