i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think your dad took our porno
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize