At least make sure they are 18
Why
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
