What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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