The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
