Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
