Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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