Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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