I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize