Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
