remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
