Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
God I need to hump something, right now.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
