I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
