Me too!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
