remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize