i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hippo gnu deer
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
