walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
