there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
