Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
