why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
