i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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