I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it's great music for shaving your balls
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
