We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
