she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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