so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize