he told me I talked like a deaf person
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
