sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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