He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
MIDGETS
????
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
