i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
