I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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