Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
