You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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