You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
