my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
