whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
