VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
farters have to be the big spoon...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
