I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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