let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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