the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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