sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
