so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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