you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
