So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
