Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
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