Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i drank out of a bidet.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize