Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
