So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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