she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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