Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
