New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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