Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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