I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i already hear my dad disowning me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
