Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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