you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
