There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
