Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
