her facebook's as public as her vagina
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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