Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
