I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
