exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
